ML COOL S

Still cancer free

2012-01-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

It is now four years and I am still cancer free. I just got back from my oncologist in Riverside. This news was worth the long drive.

Thoughts

2012-01-09T16:15:00.000-08:00

Alcoholics don't have the best childhoods, but we have the longest ones.

I didn't know I had to drink; I thought it was a choice.

It is not about passing through the storm. It is learning to dance in the rain.

Thought

2011-07-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

If God was small enough for me to understand, He wouldn't be big enough to solve my problems.

Heard on Facebook

2011-05-20T08:40:00.001-07:00

Alcohol gave me the wings to fly, and then took away the sky.

Thought

2011-03-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

There is always someone suffering worse than you, but it doesn't mean your pain isn't real.

Words of wisdom

2011-01-14T11:24:00.000-08:00

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.

Pictures of my niece and her family & President Obama

2010-11-10T09:50:00.001-08:00

President Obama greeting my grand-niece Amalie in Indonesia.

President Obama greeting children in Indonesia.

My niece and her husband and children.

Me as a blond (many years ago)

2010-11-09T20:02:00.001-08:00

Humor and wit

2010-10-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

Cannibals don't like to eat clowns because they taste funny.

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Bad things last for a little while. Good things last forever.

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Why is a roach clip called a roach clip? Because the name pot holder was already taken.

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My best work is only a rough draft.

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Failures aren't really complete failures. They were proof positive that those ideas didn't work. Now go on to the things that will work.

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More Humor

2010-08-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

Two muffins were sitting in an oven.

The first muffin said to the second one, "Why is it so hot in here?"

The second one said, " Oh my god, a talking muffin!"

Humor

2010-08-16T11:04:00.000-07:00

An accordion player parked his car on the street and went to a party.

When he returned, he saw his car had been broken into.

"Oh no," he cried in terror. He went to the trunk to check and sure enough there were two more accordions.

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What did the snail say as he was riding on the back of a turtle?

WHEEEEEEEEE!

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I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

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A drunk was speeding along the highway at 100 miles an hour and a cop pulled him over.

"But officer," said the drunk , "I was just trying to get home before I passed out."

More photos 20th anniversary of ADA

2010-08-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

More photos of anniversary celebration. We had 300-500 people there and everything went beautifully - food, music and a lot of happy people. I organized the whole thing which to me is amazing since when when I had surgery in January 2008 I was wondering if I would be home bound forever. I am here to tell you, you can beat cancer and go on with life.

Some pictures are taken on the patio of Los Angeles City Hall and all are on Monday, July 26th, 2010. The house above is an accessible emergency house constructed during that Monday by VA disabled men on the City Hall Lawn.

More photos

2010-08-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Celebration of 20th Anniversary of Signing of Americans with Disabilities Act

2010-08-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

Photos of Los Angeles City Hall event I coordinated.

This and that

2010-06-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

I saw this on the web and thought it was nice. I gave a bunch of copies at the Gay Pride Festival in West Hollywood yesterday.

On line I became a "co-signer" of President Obama's health plan. Here is the certificate.

Relay for Life

2010-05-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

Saturday I participated in the Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society in Eagle Rock High School. It was quite a day. I joined in with the Survivors for the first lap around the track (walking of course, no one was running) and kept on going. I ended up doing 30 laps for the day for about 7 1/2 miles. In all it was about a 12 hour day but a very full one. For many laps I was joined by a little girl wearing a Survivor t shirt like mine, except her t shirt came down to her ankles. It was very moving to see her going around and around the track sometimes with someone and sometimes alone and holding her little bead lanyard as she walk. She probably had more beads than me.

When I was getting tired I saw a man with two artificial legs walking the track and I got my second wind. I started at about 9 am and I was going to leave at around 7:30 pm when I met a friend of mine who was just arriving to play in the next band. I stayed until 9 and his band was great.

I wasn't nearly as sore the next day as I thought I would be. Maybe it is my walking half an hour every day.

Update on things

2010-03-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

This has been an eventful year so far. The City budget has a huge shortfall and they wanted to close my department, which is the only department serving the some 700,000 persons in the city living with disabilities. Fortunately, we were able to keep from being dismantled and will go on at least for the rest of this fiscal year and next.

So, I am working on a number of things - the Third Annual Disability Art Exhibit in City Hall, a disability art exhibit at Los Angeles International Airport, and an all-day event to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act. I guess I was so active in keeping the department intact that my energy level continues to be high.

More than once I have wondered if my surviving cancer meant that I was supposed to be doing the work I am doing - trying to do what I can to make life easier and more meaningful for persons with disabilities. I think that sometimes God puts in this life to do just one small thing, and maybe this is my one small thing.

Still cancer free

2010-01-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

Thursday, Jan. 14 my oncologist said I am still cancer free. This is exactly 2 years after the surgery. What a great way to start off the year.

Humor for a rainy day

2010-01-20T14:59:00.001-08:00

A bent-over old lady walking with a cane hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out but miraculously she was standing up straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said with amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, " He gave me a longer cane."

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A guy was driving along when a policeman stopped him. He rolled down his window and asked, "Is there any problem officer?'
"No problem as all," the cop answered, " I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you with a $5,000 Safe Driving Award. Congratulations. what are you going to do with the money?"
The driver thought for a moment and said, "Well, I guess I'll go and get that driver's licence."
The lady sitting next to him in the passenger seat said "Oh, don't pay attention to him. He is a smarty pants when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy in the back seat said "I told you we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Two hunters

2009-11-30T08:41:00.000-08:00

Having shot a moose, two hunters began dragging it by the tail to their pick up. On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.

"Sure," the hunters said.

"Well boys, I think you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not by the tail."

"OK and thanks", said the hunters.

After about five minutes one hunter said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"

"Yes, you are right," said the other hunter, " but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"

Happy Halloween

2009-11-05T14:21:00.000-08:00

I decided to go back to my old afro.

SHERIDAN

What I got myself for my birthday

2009-10-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

We had lunch with my two sisters to celebrate my birthday (belatedly) and afterward I got the enclosed pet (stuffed of course.) Am I crazy. Of course not!

My Pictures from City Art Show

2009-10-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

Here are three of the pictures I had in the 2nd Disability Art Exhibit hosted by my department - Department on Disability. This year I had over 60 artworks, compared to 25 last year, and it was a huge success. We also had an opening ceremony this year with 100-150 in attendance.

It took a lot of work but it was worth it. 19 artists, all persons with disabilities, showed art works including oils, acrylics, water colors, mixed media and metal work. It was spectacular.

One point was to show the general public that persons with disabilites have abilities and talents just like anyone else, and the second point was to encourage and inspire persons with disabilites to stretch and show off their talents.

Atheist in the Woods

2009-09-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic tree!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge toward him. He looked over shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of th sky.

"You deny my existance for all these years, teach others that I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a believer in God?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a believer in God, but perhaps you could make the bear a believer in You."

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, and brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke "Please God bless this food I am about to receive from You, Amen."

Just wait

2009-08-12T14:28:00.001-07:00

The time to procrastinate is NOW!

Old man and the bikers

2009-07-25T16:10:00.000-07:00

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leather clad bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's coffee and he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate and then took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly got up, paid his bill and left the diner. Shortly after, one of the bikers said to the waitress, " Humph, not much of man was he?"

The waitress replied, " Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles."

Another joke- Class photo

2009-07-08T16:15:00.000-07:00

The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be when you are all grown up and can say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or ' That is Michael, he's a doctor.' "

A small voice from the back of the room rang out, " And there's the teacher, she's dead."

Joke for the day

2009-07-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. The doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try. It takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father."

So, the couple decided that they would try this. The doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said " I feel okay turn it up a lot more", so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said " why don't you just put it all on me cause I'm not feeling a thing."

The doctor warned them "this much could kill you if you are not prepared" and the husband replied "I am ready". The doctor turned the machine up to 100 % but the husband didn't feel a thing so they want home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mail man was dead on the front porch.

Pictures at Gay Pride Festival in West Hollywood

2009-06-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

Me at the Gay Pride Festival June 13,2009

Tony at Gay Pride Festival June 13, 2009

AA BIRTHDAY # 34

2009-06-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, June 23rd I celebrated 34 years in AA. I took cakes at two meetings and one so far today and will take another today (Sunday) and one more on Monday. It is hard to believe I have been sober so long. I really didn't think I would last a year!

Jokes

2009-06-28T14:45:00.001-07:00

Have you heard the one about the old man who was dying. He smelled cherry pie baking so he roused himself from bed and staggered into the kitchen. He was reaching for the pie when his wife swatted his hand away. "No," she barked. "That's for the funeral!"

Resist

2009-05-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

What we resist, persists.

Definition

2009-05-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

An ambassador is a person who, having failed to be elected to an office by the people, is given one by the Administration on condition that he leaves the county.

More birthday pictures

2009-04-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Pictures from surprise birthday party at work. (I think they are going to do it every 70 years. lol)

Art work for my 70th birthday

2009-04-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

They put this on the webside of my cancer support group - Lighting the Way for Cancer Support on proboards.com

I turned 70 on April 5, 2009

2009-04-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is how I look at 70. Scarry, huh?

Heard at another AA meeting

2009-03-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

The God part of AA is like the wet part of the ocean.

Heard at an AA meeting today

2009-03-07T15:08:00.000-08:00

Don't blow another man's candle out to make yours brighter.

No running in the trudge lane.

God wouldn't drag me from the ocean and let me drown in a bathtub.

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-15T15:23:00.000-08:00

Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

And one more picture of this beautiful loving doggie.

2009-02-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

Goodby for now Heidi.

More pictures of our dear Heidi

2009-02-07T13:01:00.001-08:00

Here are more pictures of Heidi. She was having trouble breathing Wednesday morning and we took her to the animal hospital. They took x-rays and said she was in heart failure and that her lungs were filled with fluid, and that she was dying. I held her in my arms until they took her in to the other room to put her to sleep, since she was struggling unsuccessfully to breathe.

Our dear friend is gone

2009-02-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, Feb. 4th at 4:25 am our dear doggie and friend - Heidi - died. Her unconditional love and good spirits were our treasured gift from God for over 15 years. She will be greatly missed.

A Dog's Advice

2009-02-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

If we took a dog's advice we would learn stuff like:

* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

* Never pass up an opportunity to go for a joy ride.

* Take frequent naps.

* Always stretch before rising.

* Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

* When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

* No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.

* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm, and stop when you have had enough.

*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

*Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

Good News

2009-01-20T12:47:00.001-08:00

Monday I had good news. I saw my doctor and got the results of the CT scan and x-rays, et al and I am still cancer free. It has now been just over a year since my Jan. 15, 2008 major surgery.

Today I watched the inauguration of President Obama and used several tissues. It was a beautiful ceremony and I have a lot of hope that he will undo the terrible things that Bush did. At least the most evil person who has ever been in powere in the United States - Bush - is now gone. One newscaster said that President Obama and Michelle watched Bushs helicopter leave the White House to make sure that he actually left!

Unfortunately the "Rev." Rick Warren was present and gave the invocation and it appears he was even a main speaker at a Martin Luther King ceremony in Atlanta. He looked like the redneck bigot he is. It sad to see a hater and bigot get recognition but I guess that some people are always willing to listen to the scum of the world. Look how Hitler got attention and look how the Aryan Nation and the Ku Klux Klan get attention. The one good thing is that the internet said that only about 10 people clapped for the "Rev." and that is a good sign.

SHERIDAN

Words

2009-01-10T17:53:00.000-08:00

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in the garage makes you a car.

Thoughts

2008-12-31T11:39:00.000-08:00

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

When you stumble in life, make it a part of your dance.

Another Grand nephew pose - Carlos

2008-12-15T16:16:00.001-08:00

Do you see a pattern here?

Do you see a pattern here?

My Grand Nephew

2008-12-08T20:00:00.001-08:00

A typical pose?

More Stained Glass in my House

2008-12-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas Stained Glass Scene

2008-10-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

MORE ART 2

2008-10-04T14:24:00.001-07:00

MORE ART WORK

2008-10-04T14:18:00.001-07:00

MORE ART WORK

2008-09-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

ART WORK

2008-09-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

Siegfried fighting Fafner over the Rheingold.

Start of a series of artworks done by me over the years.

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

2008-09-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have been busy lately - my department's Expo in October, all my other work, and arranging for an art exhibition at City Hall in October. Some days I feel like I am losing ground, but I can only do what I can do in a day, and then do what I can in the next day. One day at a time.

I have selected several nice pictures for the gallery - mostly from patients at a physical thereapy hospital. Two people - a man and a young woman - have done beautiful paintings using mouth sticks, because they can't control their bodies, and they are an inspiration to the hope and high spirits of people who rise above difficulties. I only hope that I can do the same. I guess I have risen above difficulties and probably have more courage than I give myself credit for.

I also ordered condoms for the AIDS prevention section of my department. I wonder what they think of someone ordering over 2,500 condoms. They must think I am really in demand!

I talked with an AA friend in Florida but she is OK - no huricaine damage. However, I did find out from Tony that his sister lost her house to Ike and we bought her a new one. I hate surprises like that, but it beats a casino bill! Also, things like this make me grateful that I do have the ability to help others.

I did see a friend take a 27year cake at an AA meeting today and that was nice. Also saw a newcomer at the second meeting in two days.

More later.

Thought (?) For Today

2008-08-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

Did you ever stop to think,
and forget to start again?

Jazz Night Tonight

2008-08-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

We had planned to go to the Sunset Junction Street Fair this weekend but the arthritis in my hip makes walking painful, so instead we will go to a restaurant in Glendale where they have a live jazz band. The food at Jax is good and the music was great the last time we went there a year or so ago.

If I can't do one thing, adapt and do something else. I am grateful that I can do something else.

Things not to say on a dating site

2008-08-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

"I like poetry, long walks on the beach and
poking dead things with a stick."

lol

A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN L.A.

2008-08-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

Well, the weather is beautiful and we will have a lazy weekend, maybe taking some friends out to lunch tomorrow. Last week end we went to the Plum Tree Restaurant in Chinatown and it was excellent as usual, and provided enough left overs for two more meals.

I did the Physical Therapist's exercises maybe too well, cause they are working too good, and now I have trouble emptying my bladder. If it isn't one thing it is another, as Rosanne Rosanannadanna would say. Also the arthritis in my hip is acting up but older people get that sort of thing. Outside I guess I am old but inside I am still 18 or 19 and want to be the number one Rap artist.

JOKES

2008-07-12T17:34:00.001-07:00

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One fish turned to the other and said "dam!"

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

I went to the store to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but couldn't find any.

BIRTHDAY WEEK !

2008-06-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

This is birthday week for me at my AA meetings. So far I have taken 33-year cakes Saturday morning, Saturday evening and Sunday morning. And I will take one at 12:30 noon today from a good friend who is also dealing with cancer. After today's meeting I plan to go out for lunch. It has been a difficult year but I have gotten through it all.

At work, I am hoping that the Expo is a "go" but I won't know until later this week. At least I have done all I could do to make it happen. Somethings just won't happen no matter how hard you work for them, but with determination and strength from a Higher Power many things are possible.

The weather is a little cooler, but I still want to get some air conditioning in the very near future, at least for the bedrooms. I still don't know how to put air in the living room without ruining the view.

Time flies when you are having fun

2008-06-11T15:25:00.000-07:00

Time flies when you are having fun. I have been working hard trying to keep the Expo alive. I got out a bunch of letters to prospective sponsors, former sponsors, former exhibitors, etc. Now to wait for the results - and money, of course.

Still doing the exercises and recovering from the surgery. Can't drive yet and that is a bummer. Maybe I will try to work something out with the seatbelt. Also, I should try riding the bus to work to see if I can take the jolting - maybe experiment with sitting and standing up. If I did take the bus it would cut the gas bill down a lot and free Tony for doing something other than driving me to and from work.

AA birthday - June 23rd - is getting closer and I am planning to take cakes. I sure had an interesting year.

House Painting Finished

2008-05-18T19:27:00.001-07:00

Here is how the house looks today. The blue is a little darker than before and I think it came out very well. The painters did a good job and even did the little things - the details that are noticable to me but probably not noticable to passers by.

Now I have to think a bit about landscaping but maybe wait for a while because of the drought.

House work

2008-05-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

Now I am catching up on all of the things I was going to do before surgery, and then some. First the plumbing was replaced. It started out as a $850 job and ended up at about $2,000. One thing and another. But at least it is all done and should last a while.

Then a smaller job - cutting down a lot of a huge tree in front of the house - $100 job.

Now I am in the middle of getting the house, painted including scraping, some stucco repair, some wood repair and primer - $3,000. Plus another $500 for some eave work. The house should look beautiful, though, and I will post pictures. I wanted to do this before the surgery but couldn't find anyone to do it. These guys work really hard and take a lot of pride in their work.

I am also working hard to get my department's Expo going again this year and more and more I think we will be successful.

A motto I put up at home and work when I was facing surgery was:

NEVER,

NEVER

GIVE UP.

Thoughts

2008-04-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Give me anbiguiuty or give me something else.

Proof of back to work

2008-04-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

I am really back to work. This picture was taken on the receptionist's cell phone on Friday. The paper I am holding in my hand is "work". It is now the weekend and we just got back from lunch at Sizzler where I ate too much. Before that we had to take my dog Heidi to the vet cause some insect bit her and she started to swell up. She is OK now.

Back at Work

2008-04-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today is Wednesday and I have been back to work for three days now and doing very well. I am doing my exercises and doing a lot of work. I went right back to my regular schedule of 9 hours without doing part time work. Also feel good to be out of the house and not watching 30 year old game shows on the Game Show Network.

People were happy to see me back, and now it is like I was gone for just a short while, and that is good. I just want to work without a lot of fuss. The cancer is gone and I am still here.

I have been trying to put narratives of my recovery on the various bladder cancer support where I am a member, to give other people encouragement and support as they deal with bladder cancer and possible bladder removal surgery.

Getting Ready for Work

2008-04-09T08:14:00.001-07:00

Saturday went great. Friends took me to Appleby's in Alhambra for my birthday. Had shrimp pasta.

Now am shooting for Monday, April 14th for a return to work and am now trying to get up earlier to prepare. Today I tried getting up at 6:15 and getting a shower and was able to be "ready to leave for work" by 7:07 am. That timing should work. I can have a breakfast at work at my desk - maybe McDonalds. I am realizing now how bored I am staying at home all of the time, watching tv and reading the New York Times.

Today I see the doctor and have some blood taken. Then I might have lunch with an old friend but not sure. I didn't realize I had a doctor's appt. until after my friend callled and I don't know his phone number to call him back, just his email.

What A Two Day Period!

2008-04-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

This has been a red letter week. Yesterday I got dressed in suit and tie and went into the office to say "hi" to all, and to see if I could sit in my chair for work. It was a great day and very successful. They also had a birthday cake for my 69th which is Saturday. It was nice to be dressed up for work and I think I will shoot for April 14th for my first day back, exactly 3 months from the day I went into the hospital!

Today I great news from two sources. A friend of mine in the Wellness Community reported that the new chemo she was having is working perfectly and instead of just giving her some more time, it is PUTTING HER IN REMISSION. A wonderful answer to many prayers.

Also a dear friend in Chicago sent pictures of her and her brand new baby girl. She had had a couple miscariages and I hadn't heard from her for a long time and was worried about her health and the baby. Again this was an answer to many prayers and I can't imagine anyone who could be a better mom that her.

Saturday I will be going out to eat Chinese for my birthday. WOW!

Nice Easter

2008-03-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a nice day. I got out of the house to a restaurant for the second time. Went back to Foxy's for turkey dinner, since it was so good the last time. Again sat up in a booth and felt OK. I did a bunch of "brainstorming" for ideas for my department's Expo and sent them off by email yesterday. I hope that some of the ideas solve the problems and keep the Expo on track. They do seem do-able.

Today I will get to a meeting and tomorrow will go to Tony's doctor's appointment with him. His appointment is 10 am near Beverly Hills, so we will have to leave at around 9 am. I want to get some early starts for my day, so I can begin to prepare to go back to work. I really can't afford to retire now, because of the medical coverage and other reasons. Even working one more year gives me one more point toward retirement and that means a couple hundred each month. Plus I really enjoy the work and the people.

I guess I always thought it would be nice to stay at home and collect the pay checks, but it really isn't so nice.

Good Day yesterday

2008-03-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. I went to Foxy's Restaurant in Glendale, my first time to go to a restaurant since before the surgery!!

I sat in a booth and was comfortable sitting straight up and not on a slant like my recliner at home. It was nice to order from a menu and just be out of the house. I saw an AA friend on the patio and rapped on the window to get his attention. He did a double take and came in and we talked for several minutes, both of us happy to see each other.

Then off to an AA meeting where I saw two guys take birthday cakes - 10 years and 17 years - and was a nice ending to a nice day. Just being able to sit up again is an accomplishment on my road to recovery.

Also talked with my boss at work and worked out the timesheet information and I may even be able to give ideas on how we can put on my department's ACE Expo, which is in doubt now because of money. Even if no one likes my ideas, at least I can be thinking about something other than my surgery, etc. Also if I email something to them, they can't roll their eyes back as I make the presentation!

I also told him that people are free to visit or call me if they want. Monday my sister Marilyn will visit and I am looking forward to that. I also want to get a longer outing - yesterday I was out about 3 1/2 hours.

Just a little update

2008-03-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

Went to the hosptal yesterday for physical therapy and learned the exercist I have to do each day. Talked with the Urology nurse and she reassured me about my recovery and we even had a nice talk about stained glass. She had made some pieces and I told her about the things I had made. I came home and took pictures of some of my windows and will take them in to her the next time I get over to the hospital.

I have been out of the house 7 times since getting home from the hospital, three doctor's appointments and 4 AA meetings. Maybe this week I will get over to get a hair cut.

I am still taking things a day at a time and that seems to work. This morning I seemed to have a little less pain in my abdomen, the site of the surgery.

Better and Better

2008-02-23T13:38:00.000-08:00

Recovery is still slow but I am getting better and better (at least my doctor says so and others tell me so). Thursday I got out to my first AA meeting since Jan. 14th and it was good. This was pretty exciting for me, since the only other two times I have been out of the house since released from the hospital were to go back to doctor's appointments at the the hospital. There was more excitement on the way.

One of the Los Angeles gangs and the police decided to have a shoot out on my regular route to the meeting. It started with a drive by gang shooting 2 miles south and they murderers tried to "escape" by driving north which was right toward the NorthEast Division Police Station. The police stopped the car and three of the passengers began firing automatic weapons at the police, who returned fire and killed two and arrested a third. The police and helicopters kept at the scene looking for the fourth person and gathering the evidence. I guess there were like 50 rounds fired. They keep the streets closed for some of the morning into the evening. The local middle school was locked down unti around 6:30 pm.

Anyway there is never a dull moment. Actually this is the first gang activity in years and there used to be constant activity, so there has been progress

Continuing to recover

2008-02-16T17:16:00.000-08:00

Recovery is slow and sometimes seems to be non existant but It really is there. I may be getting some control of my BMs and that is a start.

Four friends of mine from work come over to see me on Wedneday, the day before Valentine's Day and it was a wonderful surprise. Tony fixed them dinner but most of the things were things I couldn't eat. It was nice to know that people cared enough to come over.

Next week I have to go to Kaiser Hospital to have some blood taken so this will be my second "outing" since coming home from the hospital. I am going to try to wear pants and not just the hospital gown, and try to talk with the oncology nurse for a couple minutes.

I am almost ready to try going out of the house for a short trip, maybe to an AA meeting.

Recovering slowly

2008-02-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Slowly, I seem to be recovering. My plumbing functions but on its own schedule. I am getting some rest, though. I have walked around in the back yard 3 times and try to walk around inside the house for at least 10 minutes. Took a shower today and that felt good. I guess I am happy about little things. I miss my Wellness community group and worry about those folks.

I try to be gratful for my progress, though it seems like little progress sometimes.

Good news yesterday

2008-02-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

Thursday I had my first post-surgery doctor's appointment and the news was good - CANCER FREE. The labs showed cancer in my bladder only and that is gone, gone, gone. They took some xrays of my new bladder and it looks OK. They also took out the staples, and surprised me by taking out the drain and the catheter (that was supposed to be next week). I still have a lot of pain but that should now diminish.

Now I have to move into the next phase - learning how to pee.

I thank everyone for their prayers, cause I think this was a big part of what has happened.

Also today it turned to February. That means that my surgery was LAST MONTH!

A BRIGHT SUNNY SATURDAY MORNING

2008-01-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

It is a bright sunny Saturday morning in Los Angeles and I shaved today for the first time in almost two weeks and feel almost human. I know that my body is healing but it seems so slow a process. Most of my exercise in the last couple days has been dealing with diahrea at all hours of the day, but I do get up and down by myself and that is good.

I do thank God every day for my doctor, that he is able to deal with this cancer. And that I will be well eventually. I just continue to take this whole thing one day at a time.

Surgery successful. Now recovery.

2008-01-23T12:11:00.000-08:00

The surgery was successful and I got home Monday, Jan 21 and it was nice to be home. Had a lot of pain but with vicadan it went away and I was able to get some sleep. I was planning to have take a picture of myself 'now' and 'after' - without shaving I look pretty scraggly (I scared myself and my dog Heidi). I guess I also don't smell too good. However, I can still smell (read still alive) and am getting around with a walker.

I won't know the lab reports for a couple days but my doctor said he was sure that the cancer is completely gone. Yea! Now I have to work on healing - I guess there is always something.

I am looking out the window to gloomy skies but they look pretty good to me!!!!

More later.

Tomorrow is the Day

2008-01-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

How fast the days from Dec. 10th to Jan. 14th went! This Saturday we went to Ports of Call in San Pedro again, this time with a friend who took some pictures. Above is my next to last meal before surgery. Tomorrow I go in to the hospital at noon and then they clean me out so I will have clean intestines to make the new bladder.

Tuesday morning early I will have the surgery, 6-8 hours, and for the next week or so the only food I can't have will be solids and liquids. Hence, the last meal. (Get it?)

In a way I have sort of lost the battle with the demon cancer but in a way not. Cause the beast won the battle, but with the bladder removal, I will win the war!

Long live me!!!

Under 70 hours now

2008-01-11T15:06:00.000-08:00

Not that I am counting or anything but now it is under 70 hours until I check in to the hospital and begin to meet my new life. Last night I learned some exercises to use with the new bladder, and learned a little more about to expect during and after the surgery. Today I had an appointment with the stoma nurse and learned about the best and worst cases for the new bladder system. I guess I can live with either, although I would prefer the best case. The nurse was going through being diagnosed with cancer and we hugged and said that we both will survive.

I am ready to face this thing (that is right now, ask me again an hour from now) and I do want to live and I do want beat this cancer. I am trying to he optomistic and positive and to keep my sense of humor. I will probably be off the internet after Monday morning for a week or two or three.

Five more days

2008-01-09T04:52:00.000-08:00

Just five more days left for me to be a normal person. Three more days to go to work before I go on an extended sick leave.

Next week this time I will be in ICU, with tubes all over and missing body parts. I just hope I didn't make a terrible mistake. It seemed like the right decision at the time, and maybe it was the only way to keep from dying of this damned bladder cancer. I have had so many friends die of different cancers and they didn't have a chance like I seem to have. I just hope the cure isn't worse than the disease.

I do have a good doctor and I guess I really do have to hope that he will do a successful operation (leaving me cancer free and with a life after surgery) and that I will be in the small group of men for whom bladder removal surgery has worked. Friday I meet with the doctor/nurse who will explain about the alternate surgery option if the doctor can't use my urethra, and I think I rather be dead than have a pee tube sticking out of my stomach. Freakdom doesn't appeal to me.

Sometimes I have serenity and courage and am ready to face this terrible surgery and other days I just want to run somewhere and hide - but where? I will keep working on this blog but there probably won't be any entries for a long time after Monday, Jan. 14th.

One thing I am sure about though. I won't drink. Despite all that has gone on with this terrible cancer and what might happen next week, I am still grateful for my sobriety. A long time ago I decided that if life never got any better, that I would still keep and cherish my sobriety. That hasn't changed.

Words of Wisdom

2008-01-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

Laugh alone and the world thinks you are an idiot.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Give me ambiguity, or give me something else.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Less than 10 days now

2008-01-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

It is less than 10 days until hospital check in time. Today I talked with a guy who went through the surgery 3 weeks ago, and got a lot of positive support from. He is doing OK and thinking about going back to work in two weeks. I guess there is a lot of hope that I can get through this OK. The goal from this surgery would be "cancer free" or "cured" and those would be wonderful goals.

Oh well, on to the weekend and meetings and more working on the "Bucket list". It is too bad I will miss that movie since it comes out on Jan. 11.

I put up a sign " Never, never, never give up."

Closer and Closer

2007-12-31T21:19:00.000-08:00

The dreaded surgery date gets closer and closer. However, we still continue to make merry with the time left. The above photo is at Ports of Call in San Pedro yesterday where we shopped, ate fresh fish and scallops, and had a great time.

Hard(ly) At Work

2007-12-29T17:14:00.001-08:00

This is me hard at work this week. Did I tell you that when I was a kid were were very poor. We were so poor that I had three sisters and they were all named Sheridan. We could only afford one name.

Well, in less than 16 days I go into the hospital. Today I talked with a guy who went through the surgery 5 years ago! He seemed OK, so maybe I will be too.

I was thinking today that God gave me the gift of life 68 years ago, and then gave me a new gift of life 32 years ago when I joined AA, and on Jan. 15 God gives me another new gift of life with the surgery. I guess I had to deal with the first two gifts of life, and now I have to deal with a new and different one next year.

Less than 19 days to go

2007-12-26T13:10:00.000-08:00

Including today, there are only 19 days until I go into the hospital and into the start of my new life. I spoke with one lady who had the surgery and is doing OK, and emailed with one guy who is doing OK, but still waiting for a couple others who said they would contact me.

Either way I am committed.

LAS VEGAS HERE I AM!

2007-12-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

2007-12-18T05:48:00.000-08:00

LAS VEGAS TRIP

2007-12-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

2007-12-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

2007-12-18T05:37:00.000-08:00

2007-12-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

Off to Las Vegas

2007-12-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

This morning we are off to Las Vegas to feed the poor starving slot machines and visit an AA friend. Last night spent at a nice party with friends at CNN with good food and good conversation.

I am thinking that maybe I will do with the up coming surgery as I did with my first surgery. I sent money to several needle exchanges for them to buy the syringes, so someone else might be saved from HIV/AIDS and live, should I not live through the surgery.

Surgery Date set

2007-12-12T11:19:00.000-08:00

Monday night my doctor called and answered most of my questions, and I guess I made the right decision about the surgery.

He said I will go into the hospital Jan. 14th and have the surgery Jan. 15th (a Tuesday). I am not looking forward to the surgery or finding out what my life might be after the surgery, but I have a little of peace of mind knowing that things are set. Now all I have to do is show up (I would say suit up and show up but actually it is more like be naked and have a doctor cut into me with knives). Before the surgery date I will donate blood for myself over at Kaiser Hospital, in case it is needed, as a safety issue.

Now I am going to make the most of the rest of my time. Will go to Las Vegas this weekend and later Disneyland's California Adventure, and other stuff.

Frustrating day

2007-12-10T16:06:00.000-08:00

Today after waiting since last Tuesday for a surgery appointment date from my doctor, I called the nurse and she knew nothing about the surgery. She told me to call the hospital scheduler and she knew nothing about the surgery. So I left a voice mail and email for my doctor.

I have to fight to have a surgery I need, but really don't want. How depressing is that. I walked several blocks over to an Office Depot store and got three picture frames. I will frame some pictures I took of my sisters and me, and give them to my sisters for Christmas.

(Note: No animals or humans were hurt during my walk to the store, purchase of the frames, or walk back to my office.)

Waiting waiting

2007-12-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

Well, the nurse was supposed to call Wednesday with the surgery date and here it is Friday and almost time to go home and still no call. Still with unanswered questions and still with no way to make plans for the future.

Grrr.

Truths Children learn

2007-12-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under your white shorts.

Never sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Never ask your three year old brother to hold a tomato.

Great truths about getting old

2007-11-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

Time can be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.

Forget the health food - I need all the preservatives I can get.

Decision made - Right or Wrong?

2007-11-27T14:57:00.000-08:00

When I met with my doctor Nov. 19, he said he would arrange a cystoscopy exam and later a biopsy surgery for January to see the results of the BCG treatments.

Since I will need the surgery no matter what the next exam might show, yesterday I called and emailed my doctor, and asked him to go right to the surgery and just it over and done with. That might have been a big mistake but I can't see going through two more ordeals only to have to do the surgery anyway. I just hope I will get through the whole thing OK, and with my doctor I do have hope.

Oncologist appointment

2007-11-23T09:56:00.000-08:00

Monday, Nov. 19 I met with my oncologist with a list of questions and things seem to be about as bad as they can get.

The cancer is spreading in my bladder and the BCG that I was having for the last 6 Fridays probably has only a 30 per cent chance of working and then only temporarily. The bottom line is that sometime in either January or February I will most likely go through that terrible bladder removal surgery. If the surgery is succesful I might be able to get back to sort of a normal life after a fairly long period of time, and I have a very good doctor. I guess I will try to work with that thought and be as positive as I can muster. If it turns out badly, I will have a terrible life, but still be alive.

One good thing is that removal of the bladder, prostate, et al, is that the cancer is completely gone and I only have to be checked every year or so. The "cure" rate is 80 to 90%, cause the whole bladder is removed - there ain't nothing left to have cancer.

I am beginning to accept the above (it has been only 3 days since my meeting with my doctor), although I am still depressed and fearful, expressed in a lot of anger.

More later.